The end of an era

25 Oct

I’m in the process of coming to terms with the fact that my mom is moving away.

My parents have travelled throughout South Africa quite a bit over the past few years, and they fell in love with the Eastern Cape.  Three years ago my mom started making noises about buying a house in Port Elizabeth or close by to use as a holiday house and maybe to retire in one day.  Then suddenly in December, they bought a plot and started building a house in Jeffreys Bay.

That’s when things started changing.

My mom started getting very unhappy in her job.  She held a fairly high position in the company she’d worked for for 10 years.  She made very good money and mostly enjoyed what she did for a living and the recognition she’d received over the years, but it wasn’t quite the same.  She complained daily about the childish politics and the ridiculous workload that her boss kept increasing (the hazards of being very, very good at what you do).  She and my stepdad went down to J-Bay as often as they could to check on the progress of the house, and she was miserable every time they got back.  She’d had enough of the rat race that had been her life up to this point.  She wanted to start her own business.

In August, she got an opportunity to attend a seminar about women in business.  She told me that the two days of the seminar where real eye openers (and this from a woman who wasn’t all that keen to go a few days prior).  She had a one-on-one session with the presenter and told her about her plans to maybe open her own business at the coast in a few years’ time, being very non-committal about it all.  The presenter then turned around and told my mom that the only thing holding her back is herself, and that she’d have her business up and running in three years or less.

Not even two weeks later, things at her office started going awry.  She’d been called in to attend a disciplinary hearing for a mistake that her department had made, which she would have to defend as the department head.  She’d been placed on suspension until the hearing could take place.  She phoned me the Monday morning to tell me that her hearing was on the Friday and that she might lose her job.  My heart skipped a few beats before the tears started streaming down my face.  My mom had been through so much in her life and had worked so hard to get where she was, just to have it all taken away from her again.

She never made the hearing.  She resigned on the Thursday, choosing to take the severance package instead of being fired.  She’d decided that she was going to follow her dream and start a business, and that everything that had happened over the past year were just signs telling her that it was time to go do what she wanted to do.

So this is it.  My mom is leaving for J-Bay tomorrow.  Leaving to go to her new home.

I wish her every happiness in the world and I’m so excited for her, but I can’t shake this feeling of sadness that I’ve been carrying with me since hearing that she’s moving away.  I’ve never been so far away from my mom for any length of time.  I’ve always been able to get in my car and get to her house in an hour or less.   Whenever we’d go visit my in-laws, we’d make a stop-over at my mom’s house on the way home.

My family and I spent the day at my mom’s house on Saturday, having a bit of a farewell party.  This past weekend was their last weekend here and all my brothers and sisters were there to say goodbye and to wish them luck on this new era in their lives.

We stayed there as long as we could, leaving at 10pm that night.  I took one long last walk though all the rooms in the house.  I spent some of my happiest years there.  I’d loved and lost there.  I’d said goodbye to beloved pets and welcomed new ones into my life.  This was the house where my husband and I had told my mom that we were getting married.  It was the home my mom had created for me after a very hard time in both our lives….but it was time to say goodbye.

I’ve shed many a tear over the past few weeks, knowing how fortunate I am that my mom is only moving away.  Knowing that I can still call and email her every day.  Knowing that I’ll see her again in December when we go down to spend a week or two with them.  Knowing all of this, my heart is still breaking at the thought of my mom being so far away.

Good luck Mom.  I know how excited you are and how hard you’ll work to make a success of this new venture.

I’ll miss you.

xoxo

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5 Responses to “The end of an era”

  1. Rubyletters 25/10/2010 at 17:57 #

    Awe…*big hugs* my friend. Moving far away or having them move far away from is always tough. Thinking of you! xxx

    • arkwife 27/10/2010 at 13:34 #

      Thanks lady 🙂 xxx

  2. hardspear 26/10/2010 at 10:39 #

    @#$?!*&!!! i just typed a long comment here, lost internet connection & everything i typed. here’s the shortened version:
    -parents moved to east london 5 years ago
    -new house still feels like home – same dishes, crockery, furniture, paintings, same stupid dogs, however new curtains.
    -mom died a year ago – grieved terribly
    -when visiting dad now – STILL feels like home
    -not nice being far away, but when going there – home still home.
    your gonna luv visiting for 1st time & everytime thereafter.

    • arkwife 27/10/2010 at 13:36 #

      I’m so sorry about your mom. I’m very grateful that my mom has only moved away, no matter how hard it is right now. I’m glad you still feel at home in your parents’ house though. I’m hoping I’ll feel the same in my mom’s new house.

  3. JessicaGiggles 26/10/2010 at 12:45 #

    Big hugs! I know it’s going to be quite a change from the norm but at least she’s still only a phone call away. And on the brightside, you’ll be able to spend December holidays with them!

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